We all Experience it…Nostalgia

Nostalgia- a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

So I never thought I’d say it! Actually, I vowed I’d never say it and if you would have told me 6 months ago that I would be writing this I would have laughed in your face. But, I have to admit I miss Syracuse.

I could devote this whole post to all the things that I miss but here are just a few… my Supercard/ Plus Account (food, movie tickets, and laundry take on a whole new meaning when you have you use real money!), my roomies, sitting in Schine for hours at a time doing nothing productive, Wings, my line sisters, Marshall street, seeing familiar faces on a daily basis, Saturday nights in Schine/Sky Barn/Kimmel, the comfort of being in a familiar place, and of course all the people I grew to love!

Since I miss all of that and I am on a little break from school, at the end of last week I made my way to the Port Authority, got on a Greyhound( I DEFINETLY said I would NEVER do that again), and made my way back to my Alma Mater. Of course I was greeted by a wintery mix of snow, slush, rain, and sleet (something you will never understand unless you have spent a winter in upstate New York).

Despite the typical Syracuse weather I had a WODNERFUL trip. It was a short but I was able to jam a lot in. I got to catch up /see a lot of people, reconnect with some of my advisors, spend my AKAversary(3 years and counting) with my loves, attend a creations show, get a mani, eat at Blue Monkey and Appthaizing, Spend some time and Lucy’s and the Sheraton, relax, and enjoy some good laughs with some good people.

Reflecting on my trip and my experience as an undergrad I laugh at the fact that I once thought I would never miss Syracuse. When I really think about it of course I would miss a place that contributed so much to my growth, a place where I was able to experience things that would have never been possible elsewhere, a place with so many resources, a place where I developed lifelong friendships, and a place that believe it or not became my second home for 4 years.

I am sure if you think about it there is something, someplace, or someone in your life that you miss. We all at some point in time have moved to a new place, lost someone special, began a new job, or started at a new school. Whatever you’re “something new” may be feelings of Nostalgia may be inevitable, and for good reason.

Many people say it is not good to dwell on the past, but I believe it is important to remember where we come from, where we have been, the people we come across, the experiences we have, and the lessons we learn along the way.

The things that we today deem as our past have significantly impacted who we are today (good or bad), and serve as a reminder of why/how we got into our current situation. Our past can sometimes also severe as the motivation we need in order to get through a certain situation, or deal with the “something new” in our life.

Going back to Syracuse reminded me of all the support, and hard work it took to get me to where I am today, and gave me some encouragement and relaxation I was in desperate need of.

As I wrap this up this entry I would like to remind you all of the importance of the past because as cliché as it might sound, our past does shape, and impact our future in ways we might not even think possible.

Here are the only three pics I took on my trip!

I'm Back...... with a HAIR Update!!

Hey Everyone!

Yes I know it has been awhile, but I have been consumed with never ending school work, along with dealing with all the other stuff that come along with being in Grad School; all while trying to adjust to living in a new State in a new part of the country! (That is another Blog that I am not ready to write yet, But Coming soon!)

So, since I am not ready to talk about the last three months (still processing it all), I have decided to Update you all on my HAIR!!!!!!!

If you remember in my last Blog I talked about my reasons and the process I went through in deciding to wear my hair completely natural ( No perm, weave, braids, etc). Today I can say with even more confidence that I am EXTREMELY happy, and satisfied with my decision. It is absolutely amazing what happens when you give your hair just a little bit of love, my hair is probably healthier than it’s ever been. I have seen drastic changes and it’s only been three months!

Day One-August 17, 2010 Looking Back I have come a LONG way! Take a look at the rest of the pics, and you will see for yourself.

Now looking Back at these pics I can really see a big difference.....This was a couple of weeks in! At this point in time did not understand that moisture was important, and I think my hair was still in shock and not yet responding to the attention. *** Although this has nothing to do with my hair my summer tan that I loved so much is all gone now(sigh!)

My first Style- Thanks Ash!

My first Day Of Grad School! I was excited(If I only knew...lol) At this point I was still getting the Hang of the whole Natural thing.

This is how I wear my hair during the week most of the time. I braid the front(change the style every week), twist the back and pin it up. Its easier in the morning, and helps to protect my hair.

The Last couple of Pics are a clear indication that my hair is responding really well to my new Hair care methods, also a clear indication that I now realize that moisture is important!

Finals week....No time to Wash or Style so I wore it like this...and it Worked out!!

Last Night...and the Last of the Pics Until Next time!

Confession- Thanks to my Hair, my nail polish addiction has now turned into a natural hair product addiction (which is not good for my budget), and because I have an addictive personality I have also become addicted to YouTube videos on natural hair, and natural hair blogs!

Can’t wait to see what my hair looks like in a Few Months!! I’ll keep you all Updated!!!

P.S. I am on vacation, so I will not neglect my Blog (at least for the next couple of weeks!)

The complexity of........MY HAIR! ("My Hair Story")

Disclaimer- Since this can be a touchy topic for many, and because some of what I might have to say might not sit well with all my readers I would like to say before I begin that all views I express in this post are solely my own. I personally do not judge and/or care how others choose to wear their hair!

I hope you all enjoy, please feel free to leave comments, questions, or concerns below!!!

For the past week and a half I have been asked the same two questions so many times that I have actually lost count. The first question “Are you ready to move to Chicago?” can usually be answered in a short sweet sentence, but the second question has not been that easy to answer. The question of “What did you do to your hair?”, or “Why did you do that to your hair?” has been difficult to answer because I cannot sum up my answer in a short sweet sentence. If you don’t know, or have not seen me in a while let me fill you in. I have recently made the decision to wear my hair completely natural (No perm, weaves, or extensions). I wish I could say that I just woke up one morning and decided to rock my natural God given curls, but it was not that easy. My decision to “Go natural” stems from so many different reasons.

Many of us at some point in our lives have struggled with some type of insecurity, insecurities that can span from our weight, facial features, complexion, or height. For me one of my only and biggest insecurities has for MANY years been my hair. Growing up my hair has always been somewhat of an issue for me (this is the first time that I am actually admitting this). As a little girl I was never really satisfied with the length of my hair, its texture, or the methods of care my mother chose to use when it came to dealing with my hair. I can remember vividly several occasions when I became so frustrated about something having to do with my hair, even to the point where my frustration would turn to secret tears. For years my hair routine was the same, a wash on Friday nights followed by china bumps for church on Saturday, and cornrows on Sunday (Thanks to my cousin Tamika). If for some reason I could not get my weekly cornrows my mother would do her best with my collection of what seemed to be hundreds of bubbles and clips or her version of cornrows, little plaits (braids) that she would connect all over my head. As I got older and tired of dealing with styles that I HATED, and more and more desperate to achieve what I thought was the perfect hair style I became a master at putting in my own extensions (cornrows, and Braids with added hair for length). I would spend HOURS in front of the mirror trying new styles (usually consulting with Ashley..Hi Ashley!!). To say the least I was never able to achieve what I was ultimately going for. Now don’t get me wrong I did not spend every hour of every day obsessing about my hair because after a while my insecurities about my hair became somewhat unconscious, something that I was able to deal with, and of course my hair was for the most part was decent enough to step out into public with.

Since the rule in my house was no perms until I was 16 when I got tired of doing my own hair my parents began to fund what eventually turned into an unhealthy obsession. I wore braids from the 8^th or 9^th grade until the second half of my senior year in high school, NEVER once stopping to give my hair at least a 48 hr breather. Ready and somewhat desperate for a new look I received my first perm in my bedroom on a Sunday night by my best friend (Thereziii!!). Shortly after my first perm I discovered what I thought was the wonderful world of ponytails and weaves (straight, short, long, curly, black, brown, you get the point), and boy did I LOVE my weaves, unfortunately my hair did not. I watched as it broke, and became so unhealthy in the span of two short years. So back to my braids I went!

Although by the time I entered college I rarely thought about my insecurities with my hair, deep down inside I still knew they existed. It really hit me how big of a deal my hair was to my identity when I began to prepare for my graduate school interviews. Although I had been perm less for awhile, and completely satisfied with my transition back to my natural hair and my braids I seriously toyed with the idea of getting a perm and weave JUST for my interviews. I seriously wondered if my hair would play a major role in if I was accepted into graduate school or not. It was at that point when I really began to think about and tackle the reasons why my hair was always such an issue for me, and so many of the many Black women I surround myself with. For centuries Black women all over the world (MYSELF INCLUDED) have tried our hardest to conform to European standards of beauty. Standards that we have been socialized to believe are the norm. As a result we develop insecurities about what we have all been naturally BLESSED with, and very often find it extremely difficult to embrace ourselves for who we truly are; unfortunately due to our own insecurities we fail to teach our children to love and accept themselves for who they are.

After a lot of reflecting and research I realized that it was time for me to make a major change in the way I viewed and treated my hair, and as a result I spent the summer mentally preparing for what I now call my “free” look (My mental preparation is a whole other Post in itself). To say the least it was NOT an easy decision, it took a lot of Soul searching, doubts, fears, and revelations. But here I am today, learning to love my new look!

What has been most interesting about the past few days are the many different reactions to my new look. The wide range of reactions began before I even left the hair salon after a wash and trim, the lady who did my hair could not understand why I wanted to leave her salon with my hair looking “like that” and seemed to be a little frustrated when I told her numerous times that I did not need her to blow my hair out bone straight. The reactions to my hair have included statements such “Can I touch It?”, “You actually have hair”, “Congratulations”, “You Look Weird”, “It’s cute”, “Wow”, “I love It”, and “I’m going to have to get used to this!” Numerous people come up to me singing their best rendition of India Arie’s “I am not My Hair”, and of course I have gotten people who have just been silent. My father who would never come out and say he is not feeling my new look has made it pretty clear how is feels about my hair by his extra long glances, and questions such as “ is that all your going to do with your hair”. Now I must admit that a few years ago, or maybe even a few months ago the negative comments might not have been so easy to swallow, but today it really does not matter, nor do I care what other people think or have to say about how I choose to wear my hair. I know that my transition to the “natural world” is NO where near complete, and that I still have a ways to go before I can fully appreciate and get used to handling my hair in its natural state, but Today I can confidently say that I am content with my decision!

Not looking for approval…Simply Just…Being me.